Wednesday, March 18, 2009

im sorry... n i wish im a better person

It is so hard for me to understand

Something simple that every adult can figure

I hate not to know how to react, how to think, how to feel maturely

People say I’m like a kid that is still needed to be thought of everything

They response to me as if im 11-year-old girl

I’m not!! I’m just the same as u..

Can u see that?

Alas....I can’t put all the blame on them

Sometimes simple things people say

Might bug my feelings so badly

(like a child who thinks her mother hates her because the pinch she gives her)

And sometime I can’t even care less about serious matter

That needs my total n utmost concern...

I wish I can figure stuff easily and act with matured soul

without hurting others and my very own...

Im hurting inside but i couldn’t say it out loud

I will cry when im the only one left alone

with no shoulders to cry on

Im sorry if my being hurts YOU

Im sorry for the childish acts i portray

Im sorry if my words wound you

im sorry if i get everything wrong

im sorry dear friends

i just cant help it

i wish to change...very!!

but...time will show my way...

perhaps i'm still learning...and these are some inaccuracies that

will soon carve a better me

Sunday, March 8, 2009

of boredom and solemn

Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face.
when boredom strikes
everything is countable...
theres 52 chairs in the computer lab
but only two are occupied
theres 162 squares up at the ceiling
50 computers
30 windows
51 tables
288 rectangular designs on the door
5 visible plugs on the wall
2 notice boards
with 8 posters plus 3 notes
2 exit doors
2 printers
and 1 girl counting...
(im so super duper bored!!)

Saturday, February 14, 2009


I say loneliness kills and you'd laughed, assuming to the humorous possibility that it is merely a quotation by pathetic lovers.

You continue laughing because You don't understand!

If you could see loneliness, my friend, you would cry and cry and cry till it stops seeing you. If you could hear loneliness, you'd close your ear and beg it to stop for it is like a sad, dragging music that cynically laugh to humiliate your suffering. The moment it starts to hunt, you'd want to run away, desperately and you'd use anything to escape to the extent when sleep and death becomes nothing much of a difference. It kills you deep. LONELINESS KILLS!

a contribution from a fren

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


It’s hard to tell story
When your mind is full of misery
That fills with tears and grieves
It’s like life of intangible rope
That sometimes the knot is twisted with no hope
Should I say it’s ok to feel the agony
That’s flaming with anger and no blissful ecstasy
Sometimes I kept thinking of happiness that only comes at day light
And will soon fade with the darkening night
Why it’s hard to make choice of two possible uncertainties
When there’s only confusing eternity
I kept thinking of ease
That will never come to me with gentle breeze
Damn! I wish life is lot easier
If there someone to share every sorrow and grieve
But, alas...there’s non with such shear mercy
Its seems so unclear
Its seems so hard
Its seems so complicated
And I’m confused...